Physical attraction. Impulses. Confusion of what I really should be feeling.
It's a lot easier than you think to confuse one emotion for another. I'm not going to defend myself with that, though; I already admit that I'm an insensitive jerk.
If I were, I'd tell you. I'm not going to let our relationship end like theirs did. I'm not that much of a fool, and I'm not going to let even the possibility of a friendship pass us by.
I'd tell you as soon as I was able to, if I truly had desire for that.
...Theresa. I'm not. Like I said, if I were looking for someone better, I'd actually tell you. Straight out. Seeing as I'm not, I'm very obviously not looking for anyone who is "better".
However, the matter of the fact is, you're the one who's "better". Erland has people he cares for, and Kanna... Well, she might end up be leaving regardless, given what Shikou and Adam said, but even then, I'm not interested in her. She's my sister, for all use of the term. She even was actually, for quite a while, there.
You can have a lot more faith in me, and in those others, than you do right now.
Impulse, perhaps? Curiosity? Theresa, do you really think I consciously accept it as something as simple as flirting? I, the one who enjoys more seeing reactions themselves, than anything? Really, anything I do isn't even applicable, anymore.
Most girls would take that as a compliment, Theresa. The fact that I've been here for three years basically, and you're, so far, the best person I've met?
Then do so. It's not a situation where "I want to, but", or "I can't, but". It's a do or don't do situation. It just all depends on how willing you are to do so. People being willing to take a disk is part of what makes something work. It's why their relationship fell apart, because one side didn't want to continue to try.
You... Always seemed to just close up, when it was obvious you had a problem with how I am. It honestly frustrated me with how it was, because I really would rather you be honest with me. With the good, and the bad. Yeah, it'll lead to arguments, but if we're both persistent enough, at least it'll lead to a resolution.
It makes me very happy to know that you're able to actually come out and say what's making you mad right now about me.
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-20 02:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-20 02:24 am (UTC)It... makes me worry about things... with us...
(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-20 02:26 am (UTC)I'm not giving up on us, however, no matter how screwed up I am. Are you?
(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-20 02:27 am (UTC)... Which... Souha... are you?
(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-20 02:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-20 02:30 am (UTC)[Private with Souha]
... Then let me ask you... why do you flirt with people like Erland and Kirihana?
[Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 02:34 am (UTC)Physical attraction. Impulses. Confusion of what I really should be feeling.
It's a lot easier than you think to confuse one emotion for another. I'm not going to defend myself with that, though; I already admit that I'm an insensitive jerk.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 02:35 am (UTC)It's like you're looking for the next one...
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 02:39 am (UTC)I'd tell you as soon as I was able to, if I truly had desire for that.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 02:43 am (UTC)...so you are just waiting for something better...
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 02:47 am (UTC)However, the matter of the fact is, you're the one who's "better". Erland has people he cares for, and Kanna... Well, she might end up be leaving regardless, given what Shikou and Adam said, but even then, I'm not interested in her. She's my sister, for all use of the term. She even was actually, for quite a while, there.
You can have a lot more faith in me, and in those others, than you do right now.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 02:52 am (UTC)...so I'm just the best one thus far.
I want to, but...
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:00 am (UTC)Most girls would take that as a compliment, Theresa. The fact that I've been here for three years basically, and you're, so far, the best person I've met?
Then do so. It's not a situation where "I want to, but", or "I can't, but". It's a do or don't do situation. It just all depends on how willing you are to do so. People being willing to take a disk is part of what makes something work. It's why their relationship fell apart, because one side didn't want to continue to try.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:02 am (UTC)And after what happened to Seku...
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:04 am (UTC)Sekuta was willing to go to great lengths to stay with her, and to make sure she was happy.
She wasn't.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:08 am (UTC)It's bothered me before... and I don't think it'll stop unless I stand up now.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:12 am (UTC)Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:15 am (UTC)Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:18 am (UTC)It makes me very happy to know that you're able to actually come out and say what's making you mad right now about me.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:36 am (UTC)...besides that, I want plenty of reason to beat you up if you break my heart.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:38 am (UTC)Theresa. Breaking your heart, alone, is the biggest, and best reason to beat me up for it.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:43 am (UTC)You know, with my whole 'hate males' thing snapping back.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:44 am (UTC)Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:45 am (UTC)Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:48 am (UTC)Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:52 am (UTC)I can't get properly mad when you do that.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:56 am (UTC)Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 03:58 am (UTC)Especially when you almost BEG to be punished brutally.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 04:04 am (UTC)Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 04:06 am (UTC)I'll... talk to you another time, alright Souha?
Goodnight.
Re: [Private to Theresa]
Date: 2008-03-20 04:08 am (UTC)I love you. Good night.